VoyageLA Feature Community Highlights: Meet Kathy Tan of Amalu Coaching
Local Stories | June 27, 2022
Today we’d like to introduce you to Kathy Tan.
Hi Kathy, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
When I think of the start of my story, I think of the values that were instilled in me as a young Chinese, Filipino American girl living in a small town in the Midwest in the 90s. Keep your head down, work hard, listen and serve your elders, get into university, and get a well-paying job ideally in healthcare lol. That was always the expectation and path to bring honor to my family. With both parents working two jobs each and three older sisters raised in Catholic school, I was blessed with strong role models that showed me how to be successful in whatever I put my mind to despite constant fighting happening behind the scenes in our home. Mostly verbal and psychological abuse from my dad to my mom, yet sometimes turning into physical violence within our family. Family counseling, police involvement, medications… none of it really worked. No one wanted to talk about what was happening openly out of fear of repercussions. While not realizing it at the time, the impacts of this carried with me throughout adulthood as I grew up afraid of authority, acquiesced in unjust situations, and struggled to form trusting relationships with others. In spite of this, I graduated from a top-notch university and excelled professionally throughout my career working in various roles and sectors in preparation for my work as a Personal & Professional Development Coach today.
2016 really began my “spiritual awakening” if you will, as I transitioned to work in LA’s highest need schools in various leadership capacities. As a mandated reporter, it was unsettling to support students in domestic cases as they opened up about their fear of getting hit at home, emotionally or sexually abused, or neglected, often from adults or siblings they trusted most. These stories broke my heart as they reminded me of my own childhood trauma I later addressed and began healing from while planting a seed in the work I do today.
After COVID hit, I grew tired seeing repeated national headlines about the spike in violence against the Asian American community, our elders, and Asian women. Victims who easily could have been a direct loved one like my family members, friends, or me. This was happening while more domestic violence cases were running rampant within families behind-the-scenes globally and even in my own personal circles. I knew throughout the culmination of these injustices that there had to be more we could be doing to intervene to stop the cycles of harm in pursuit of safety, security, and wellness of all.
These collective experiences led to my decision to get my Masters degree to focus my research on Gender-based Violence: Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault against women and girls. Currently, I’m in the early stages of launching my coaching startup: Amalu Coaching, LLC. I specialize in providing personalized coaching services for minority women, survivors of domestic violence, and family members and friends of survivors. Through a culturally-responsive and trauma-informed approach, I empower clients to develop essential skills, foster healthier relationships, and overcome challenges such as anxiety and depression. Whether it’s through one-on-one sessions or community support groups, my goal is to create safe spaces for healing and personal growth. If you’re seeking guidance and support on your journey, I invite you to schedule a free consultation by emailing info@amalucoaching.com or visiting amalucoaching.com.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Not always a smooth road! There’ve been bumps and challenges, yet valuable lessons overall that have made me who I am today. As much as I love and feel proud of my culture, it took years for me to unlearn harmful messages that were holding me back including overcoming imposter syndrome. Growing up as the youngest daughter among four sisters, I prided myself in working diligently behind the scenes, like many Asian Americans. I never saw myself as a leader let alone an advocate or coach. I was very conflict-averse, doubted my decisions, felt my voice didn’t matter, and questioned why I was put in positions of leadership.
It was through my work in schools leading and coaching teams and advocating for equitable student outcomes that really opened my eyes to the social disparities I witnessed and experienced: racism, sexism, ageism, xenophobia, community trauma disproportionately impacting communities of color. Although raised with the expectation to not question why things were the way they were, these injustices challenged me to break that culture of staying silent. Five years and three promotions later, I had to learn how to build trusting relationships with others, overcome my fear of authority to respond to the needs of the people under my care, trust my decisions and voice, and address conflict head-on to advocate for what was just. In this process, I also discovered my gift of coaching as I developed a reputation for empowering others towards their personal and professional success. I was voted on by peers as a founding member of our site’s first Equity Council and started working on the side as an Equity Leadership Coach partnering with leaders across the nation on how to lead consciously for justice. Lastly, balance was a challenge. I overcame how to navigate these priorities while attending graduate school during COVID and taking care of family.
When I look back, I’m so grateful for my faith in God and the mentors, leaders, pastors, and teammates along my path who spoke to the greatness within me and affirmed my ability to influence people to change. This support planted early seeds giving me the courage to speak out on controversial issues as an adult including gender-based violence and ending relationship/family abuse. Reflecting on the journey, I am humbled by the lessons learned and the growth achieved. It is through these challenges that I have found my purpose and passion for empowering others and advocating for justice.
Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about Amalu Coaching?
As a minority and women-owned small business, I am on a mission through Amalu Coaching, LLC to empower and support individuals and groups from all backgrounds, with a special focus on minority women who have experienced domestic violence or are family members/friends of survivors. The statistics are staggering – did you know that 1 in 3 women worldwide has experienced physical and/or sexual violence at least once since the age of 15? The impact of domestic violence is profound, leading to various challenges and consequences, both personal and societal.
At Amalu Coaching, LLC, I recognize the significance of these statistics and the need for dedicated support and guidance. My personalized coaching and restorative spaces offer a culturally responsive and trauma-informed approach to healing and growth. I firmly believe that everyone has untapped potential within them, and my role is to guide individuals on their transformative journey towards self-discovery and personal empowerment.
Furthermore, my commitment extends beyond coaching services. I have implemented a give-back model where 10% of all proceeds from Amalu Coaching, LLC are dedicated to supporting domestic violence organizations and initiatives directly serving survivors. By investing in these organizations, I actively contribute to the advancement of their critical work on the front lines.
If you’re ready to embark on a transformative journey of healing and empowerment, I invite you to reach out today and take the first step towards reclaiming your power. Together, we can create a path to a brighter and more fulfilling future.
If we knew you growing up, how would we have described you?
As a kid, I always strived to do well and make my parents proud. I was always very active, competitive, hard-working, and high-achieving. Sports, piano, karate, dance, vacation Bible school, business professionals club, Scrabble champion LOL… My mom got my sisters and me involved in pretty much anything you can think of as a kid to stimulate our interests and keep us active. But really, she wanted us to get our minds off of the domestic issues happening at home and not to worry. I cared very deeply for others, listened well, and did well as a teammate and friend cheering other people on or being a listening ear to offer advice. Our family traveled often domestically and abroad which was a blessing as these experiences exposed us to so many different people and cultures. The culmination of this opened my eyes to dream big, serve and make a positive impact, while collaborating with others.
Related to my coaching work today advocating against relationship abuse, I never questioned how families treated each other as a child. My family meant the world to me, and I just focused on following instructions and meeting expectations to avoid conflict or punishment. From the outside, everything appeared fine because I was getting straight A’s and excelling in various activities. At the same time, I learned to ignore what was happening behind the scenes and suppress my negative emotions. I coped by immersing myself in sports, my academics, and family vacations. Mental health wasn’t a topic discussed or supported growing up nor were there the resources to best support us. While I have made significant progress in my healing journey and now advocate for holistic wellness, coaching, and raising awareness about relationship abuse, I am still a work in progress.
In a society that pushes us to climb the career ladder, pursue financial independence, and strive for the next big achievement, I’m still learning the value in pausing and rest, taking time off, asking for help when needed, and prioritizing my own wellness and self-care – beliefs often stigmatized in the Asian community. My goal is to be a guide to others based on the lessons from my journey.
Contact Info:
Website: amalucoaching.com
Instagram: @amalucoaching
Other: https://linktr.ee/amalucoaching
Image Credits: Noilyn Mendoza O.B. Amaechi Julie Golingan Roberts Ronnie McClain
Suggest a Story: VoyageLA is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.